Let’s start today’s meeting with an icebreaker. How does that make you feel? Some people cringe. Not the dreaded get-to-know-you game, forcing awkward introductions and half-hearted small talk.
But what if we’ve been thinking about icebreakers all wrong? What if, instead of smashing the ice with a sledgehammer, we let it melt naturally?
That’s exactly what Jan Keck, an expert facilitator and creator of the “Ice Melters” approach, believes. In our conversation, we explored why traditional icebreakers often backfire, and how shifting from ‘breaking’ to ‘melting’ the ice can transform the way people connect in workshops, meetings, and beyond.
This episode is for you if you are a:
✅ Product Facilitator looking to make your sessions more engaging and less awkward.
✅ Team Leader or Manager who wants to build real connections in meetings.
✅ A Workshop Designer searching for fresh ways to start sessions.
✅ Anyone who dreads traditional icebreakers and wants to create meaningful conversations instead of forced fun.
Key Takeaways
🔹 Why traditional icebreakers don’t work and what to do instead.
🔹 The ‘Human Search Engine’ method for starting conversations that actually matter.
🔹 How to transition from surface-level small talk to deep, meaningful discussions.
🔹 The best Spark Activities to replace awkward icebreakers in your sessions.
🔹 Why “What do you do?” is the worst networking question—and what to ask instead.
🔹 How to design meetings that engage people from the moment they walk in.
🔹 The role of AI in facilitation—will it replace human facilitators?
🔹 The #1 work habit we need to abolish right now.
Why Icebreakers Don’t Work (and What to Do Instead)
Jan has a simple but powerful visual: Most facilitators approach a room full of strangers as if they’re frozen solid in blocks of ice. Their solution? Smash them out of their icy shells with a big, clunky activity. But this often leads to discomfort, resistance, or surface-level interactions that don’t create real connection.
Instead, Jan suggests a different metaphor: fire.
Just like building a fire, creating connection takes time. You start with a small spark—something easy, low-pressure, and natural. Then, gradually, you add fuel: deeper conversations, shared experiences, and trust-building activities.
This approach isn’t just for introverts who dread icebreakers. It benefits everyone. Because let’s be honest—if your ‘fun’ activity makes people uncomfortable, is it really helping them engage?
The Problem with “What Do You Do?”
We’ve all been at a networking event or a workshop where the first question someone asks is: “So, what do you do?”
Jan calls this the one question he would eliminate from people’s vocabulary—at least for the first 10 minutes of any conversation.
Why? Because asking about someone’s job forces them into a box. Maybe they love their work, maybe they hate it. Either way, it’s not the most inspiring way to start a conversation.
Instead, Jan recommends asking open-ended questions that spark memories and stories.
Try these instead:
✅ What’s something you’re excited about right now?
✅ What’s a goal you’re working on this year?
✅ What’s a random skill or hobby you’re obsessed with?
These questions get people talking about something they actually care about—which is the real key to meaningful connection.
The Human Search Engine Game
One of Jan’s signature techniques is what he calls the Human Search Engine Game.
Here’s how it works:
Instead of asking people for generic introductions, have them ‘search’ the other person’s mind like a search engine.
They type in a word or topic—something broad, like “travel” or “food.”
The other person shares the first memory or thought that comes up.
Then, they ‘double-click’ on a detail in that story to dig deeper.
For example:
🗣️ “I was in Colombia last year.”
🔍 “Oh, interesting! What was the best meal you had there?”
🗣️ “A tiny family-run restaurant served the best empanadas I’ve ever had.”
🔍 “Tell me more! What made them so special?”
Instead of surface-level small talk, you’re leading people down a path of genuine curiosity—which is where real connections happen.
The Right Way to Ease Into a Workshop
So if traditional icebreakers don’t work, how should we start a session?
Jan swears by Spark Activities—simple, engaging prompts that get people thinking, talking, and easing into the topic naturally.
One of his favorites? A word cloud check-in.
🗣️ “When you hear the words ‘giving feedback,’ what feelings come to mind?”
Participants submit their answers anonymously, and a live word cloud forms in real time. Instead of an awkward, forced discussion, you’ve got a shared starting point that helps people warm up.
The key? Making sure the activity relates to the session’s purpose—so people see its value right away.
Final Thought: Let the Ice Melt
Next time you’re planning a meeting, workshop, or networking event, ditch the forced fun. Forget the awkward icebreakers. Let the ice melt instead.
🔥 Start with a Spark Activity.
🔥 Ask better questions.
🔥 Design moments that feel natural, not forced.
Because true connection doesn’t come from smashing ice—it comes from building trust, curiosity, and shared experiences.
Huge thanks to Jan Keck for the insights behind this article. Want to learn more about his work? Check out icemeltersbook.com.
Guest: Jan Keck
Connect with Jan
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